Saturday, April 23, 2011

Ham Anyone....

I am traveling with Trudy, Rowdy….and my mother.  It has taken me several months of therapy to recover from my last trip with my mom. We went to Mexico in really it has only been a couple of months since the last trip. When we travel together I am the mom…we switch places. I tell her …do you have your drivers license…passport…blah blah blah…Luckily for the most part she is well behaved…and she has very few tantrums…but she is always doing this thing where she has a blank look on her face and does this low to higher pitched “Huh?” The worst part is that she is no help at all traveling. She insists she knows what she is doing but she doesn’t.

Today we are going to California.

It is a given that I will not be prepared with charged cameras…I never am. I’m really trying this time though. I wish the blackberry wasn’t so convenient… or if it took better pictures that would be helpful. I used to be a better mom…I was…really. I used to always be prepared. I have pictures like crazy from when the kids were little…seriously..I do…. I even used to scrapbook and do all kinds of crafty things..volunteered in the kids’ classes …I was THAT person! I haven’t always been this frazzled…harebrained…unorganized person I am now. I found myself yesterday trying to multi-task... this is something I used to be really good at. I was going to call the schools to excuse the kids. I called one of the schools…then I found myself painting my nails. This wasn’t even on the To Do list. I opened the catch all drawer because I had told Trudy how great she was and how lucky I was to have her in my life. She asked me if she could "please get that in writing"…I opened the drawer to get paper…and remembered…oh yeah I need to call the other was too late...they were gone.

This was pretty much how the whole day yesterday went.

I managed to get up shortly after the alarm rang this morning. Mostly because I know Delta Airlines isn’t very sympathetic to my excuses.


After we got on the road we all talked about how excited we were to get to California. We will see my moms sister..whom we call ‘Aunt Happy’ and her family. I haven’t seen my cousins in a long time so I am also very excited and of course we will be visiting Rowdy’s friends at Disney.

I heard my mom in the backseat *I’m sighing here* mumble something about packing three packages of hamburger and ham. I said “You packed what?!”…thinking I heard her wrong…I asked once again. She said “I packed three packages of hamburger and 2 teardrop hams.”   She said this is if it was the most normal thing to say.  I almost stopped the car.

What can you do…I was trying to think if there is a law against packing meat..I said meat not heat.

All I could say was “Oh Mom.. Sometimes you are so weird.” She said proudly of herself “Well Happy didn’t think it was weird at all….she said it was very nice of me”....uh huh...sure she did...only cause you are both full blooded Norwegians.

My mom… I believe has an irrational fear we may all starve. This is how she shows her love.....  she feeds you.  Apparently she also doesn't think that there are supermarkets in California or that Happy and Husband will be prepared.

When we checked our bags I couldn’t but help chuckle looking at the poor unsuspecting baggage inspectors. I could hear them saying to each other….“Hey look guys!…This here Lady gots a HAM!”

I am glad that the inspection is done AFTER you walk away…I didn’t want these guys to have my face associated with the “Ham Bags”.

The restaurant at ‘Airport One Terminal’ was lovely. No not really. Rowdy was very anxious to get on the plane…asking every two minutes what time it was. Apparently he doesn’t trust people who pack ham in their bags to keep him on schedule. Trudy was looking a little distressed about the upcoming TSA pat down. I told her “Look on the bright side….maybe someone will notice how big your boobs have gotten. She said “Yeah… not like last year when the mean lady told me *deep voice* “Well we don’t have to worry about you hiding anything in THAT`` bra.”

I hope the ham is OK….this is after all our Easter Dinner…..


1 comment:

  1. Ham and hamburger...? Oh. my.

    I agree, when did the role reversal happen?