Sunday, July 24, 2011

Good News...He is keeping his Tooth..I mean Teeth...

I hadn't seen the dirt pusher for a day and was feeling kind of lonely without him in my hair....but he is back.  So now I can bitch about him being in my hair.
the dirt pusher and his dentist...cute eh'...
He spent the night in a near by town to get Livy off on the airplane a few mornings ago...she was picked from this region to go to NY for a developmental camp for hockey yeah she is a BAMF...we got tough girls in the family and we are broke from supporting their habits.... and it worked out that he had a dentist appointment in the same area.  It was good to see him when he got home with his sparkly teeth..bitching about his mouth hurting...he is such a baby...remember when his wenis hurt for like a month?.....His Friggin Wenis Hurts

He insists on seeing the dentist at this town 100 miles away when we have pretty good dentists here right in town and frankly I get a little defensive because I think my dentist is the best out there he knows I need Zanax and doesn't judge me...even for a cleaning...*hey Dr. B* But I shouldn't complain because ...well...he is going to the dentist.  One of the many ways I would like to pat myself on the back for changing his life.  He got home and insisted his dentist is really great as I rolled my eyes..cuz I know my dentist is the best...and followed that with..."he is a hunter".  I'm thinking to myself...OK?...Apparently being a hunter makes him a good dentist? 

I don't know if you remember but not that long ago I completed Hunters Safety.  Please see exhibit A: I'm not a Hunter

There are a lot of things in this course that I learned....that would probably actually make me think that...say...a hunter isn't the first person I want sawing/drilling/hacking..whatever.. on my jaw or anywhere near my face hunters use saws people and I like my face.  Please remember as you read this...I  have nothing personal against dad, uncles...blah blah blah...are all hunters....but I would never let any of them touch one of my teeth.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Shine with Gratitude

I have a lot of things in my life to be thankful for.  I don't take anything for granted and am constantly in awe of the blessings that God has given me.  I don't tell many people this...but I'm pretty sure I'm God's favorite kid. These are some of the things I'm thankful for....
  • Haircolor
  • myself and to others
  • My has been one of the greatest blessings in my life and allows me to take care of my kids the way they deserve to be cared for
  • Parents that love me (even on the days I'm a handful)
  • my sister and that guy she married  - I'm especially grateful we live in the same town so that we can bug each other without having to travel far
  • my kids ..they make parenting look effortless..and I love watching them just be themselves
  • Haircolor
  • the dirtpusher...for showing me how a man should love a woman...and how a man should value his family
  • my girlfriends...those bitches are crazy and they make me feel normal
  • Haircolor
  • A good bra
  • Handbags
  • Haircolor
  • A good walk to work out the stresses from the day and the healthy body I have to do so
What are you thankful for?

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Rosa and Rowdy...go racing...

Trudy is out of town...and will be till next Sunday.  When she is gone I feel like part of my soul is missing...although the peace and quiet is nice...that kid talks a lot.  I HATE it!  If I didn't have OCD and the constant need to clean things and line them up I would probably be in bed feeling sorry for myself.  Thankfully there are things that need cleaning and arranging...and organizing...and reorganizing I learned this reorganizing thing from my perfect friend Emma.

Trudy is a pitcher/2nd baseman...representing the 16U Wyoming team in some Triple Crown World Series Fastpitch..blah blah blah..some college coaches better be scouting the hell out of her...that's all I'm gonna say.  She even has a NIKE shirt that says "Scout This".  I told her she had to wear it everyday unless she was actually on the mound.

But don't worry about me and Rowdy getting left pisses us off...we are here living it UP!  That's right...we are doing what we want to do mostly just wearing our bedhead and pajamas alllll day Sunday..when we want to do it and having Dairy Queen when we are done with that *sassy head nod*...and we are gonna rub it in when she gets home.  Me and the Rowdster have choreographed a little number while singing.."We went to Dairy Queen..We went to Dairy Queen.."  Okay I choreographed it...but he agreed for 10 bucks he would do it with me...even with a hip swing.  Truth is I'm bustin' my keester at work and he is bustin' his at football camp this week in 100° weather..poor little feller is whipped....but we are not gonna let on that anything other than pure unleashed crazy ass fun happened here.

Tonight me and Rowdy ran to the car wash.... to wash the car that I washed two days its finest...and I drag my kids down with me too...and there was this huge truck and rig parked next to the car wash with two racing cars with the #24 on them. It looked sort of like this...only with a #24 on it....

okay ..not really like this...but I think this car is cool...
I thought to myself...well hell yeah..some strangers to talk to.  So I pulled up and offered to race em...yeah in Trudy's looks like this...
Yeah that's right 4 cylinders and bald front tires...I scared the shit out of em...I told them the car was powered by daisy's.  

I wanted to get a good picture of it so I could show you all how bad ass the race cars were.  So I asked rowdy to get a few shots while I was washing the car...this is what he got....
can you see the race car in the background?
After we left and I scrolled through the pictures and clearly I should have been more specific about what I wanted pictures of... and I asked him "What the hell were you taking pictures of"...and he said as he looked confused "The creeps next to us..for your always want us kids to take pictures of the creeps."  The race cars where pretty cool....some Kenny Shrader guy...but I think the Beetle could have given it a good go round.

Monday, July 11, 2011

Cheaper than a Psychiatrist....

My therapy sessions have been getting in the way of the WW123 plan...I hate the WW123 plan and all other plans like it...

I seem to have a way of 'working' whatever it is I like into a diet plan...I don't do diets...they are so restrictive.

Lately I have been working some serious Margarita's.  Yummy strawberry blended Margarita's.  After thinking about it..or maybe not really thinking about it too much....I figured...strawberries are fruit and tequila has no calories...#winning...

Not so much.  I saw this on the internet today....Knock that Shit off....very depressing...

My nightly routine has been this...walk 2 miles...then slide down some zoloft with a Margarita...stop judging me..and for the most part it has been working for me.  I'm like a dog...I tell want a have to do a trick.  I get excited for my walk every night because I know what is at the end...but it's like rehydrating right?  I even ran the other night for like 0.00000004 miles when it started to rain I hate getting my hair wet and was pretty proud of myself other than the fact that the sisters were bouncing out of my bra like two wild loose cannons running is bad for breast tissue one of the many reasons I think running sucks.

After enjoying the show...the dirt pusher being the compassionate man that he is bought me a new Nike sports bra that can hold these suckers down..I think its made with titanium or something...I even gave it a quick jog in place to try it out...and heck maybe with another rainstorm I might give the new bra a good workout.

But I think for the well being of the waist band of my jeans I might need to rethink my Walk/Margarita routine and just stick to the strawberries and zoloft for my nightly therapy session....I swear medical science has to ruin everything...hummphhhhh..

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Make New Friends...or not...

I'm hoping I would be the one on top...
I'm kind of embarrassed...

A 57 year old woman got in my face this weekend and told me she could beat my ass.  She also maaayyyy have mentioned I'm a piece of shit...and always have been a piece of shit she is a fat whore...but that isn't the embarrassing part.

The embarrassing part is...that she prolly could and could have whipped my ass.  She could because...well she is about 60 lbs heavier than me this woman looks like a cross between the wicked witch of the west and Big Bird..use your imagination...but she could have...cuz I would have let her...I had on a really cute outfit white shirt and was looking pretty spiffff...cute sandals too...and honestly wasn't really up for messing myself up.
I'm the type that... either I'm getting down and dirty for the day...or I'm looking cute.  I haven't mastered both at the same time.  This was a cute day...not much room for rolling around in the dirt and clawing...or whatever it is girls do...

I'm not really a scrapper though anyway...I really don't know how to throw a punch and imagine I would just go for a face shield motion...or maybe look like this....
yes...I'm certain that this is what I would look like
I also have also always thought that after you get to a certain age..I don't know..maybe like 25 or something...that you stop threatening to kick ass.  And I know what you are thinking right now..."Isn't this girl a HIGH YELLOW belt in karate?"....yes I am...okay...but that means nothing...I can only fight in a perfect situation...and really don't like hitting people...I just like to kick and punch the air. 

I'm not gonna lie though I thought about breaking out the "oh yeah...well I know karate bitch"...but I was laughing too hard to say anything...I think I even snorted.

Friday, July 1, 2011

...Awww Nuts...

Hi, it’s Taylor. Well better known to you people as Trudy. I like to hack things, everyone knows that. You would think by now my mom has learned to log out of her business, but no sadly she just hasn’t learned and as a daughter it is my duty to teach her repeatedly like she has me when I didn’t learn. Anyways, I titled this shenanigan Awwww Nuts, mainly just because my mom has a weird obsession with nuts (luckily that gene began & ended with her) and it looks more “Tracey like” to title it something that she would and thus we have Awwww Nuts. (I won’t talk about them though, I promise)
The woman is hilarious. She always seems to make me laugh…really hard….until we both snort…and are on the verge of peeing our pants. She makes me laugh when she doesn’t mean to, and when she does. She makes me laugh when I don’t want to but when I need to. She also makes me laugh at really inaproperate times. (like when I am texting her during reading time at school. When you bust out laughing it’s kind of obvious that your breaking the rules)
She is always talking to strangers. I guess my Oma never taught her stranger danger. I’m honestly quite surprised that she hasn’t been kidnapped yet. (maybe she has, and they just brought her back. I would bring her back….) She just walks up and starts a conversation. She doesn’t care if they want to talk or not because she pretty much does what she wants. 
Your Teammm.....hahahahaha.

The one thing that I can honestly say drives me bonkers about my mom is the fact that she beats me at “Your Team.” Every stinkin time we play she is always faster at calling it. That means I get stuck with the weirdos, hillbillies, bearded ladys, midgets, and the 40 year old virgins. Thanks mom, I feel the love.
I think if my mom was a 16 year old boy, I’d marry her. She is like my soulmate. She is the only one that gets me. She even likes poetry and long walks on the beach! She listens, cleans up after me, does my laundry, mows the grass. I just get to sit there and play on my iPad. But seriously the woman is a babe! I’d be lucky to be with that for the rest of my life. Heckkkk. If she was a Facebook page…I think I would like her….i might even stalk her….every 5 minutes. I mean she is definitely a looker. Dannnnggggg. (Plus I’m wayyyy cuter than the dirt pusher…I’m just saying)
But honestly, I look up to her more than anyone. (I think she could really mess me up sometimes, but that’s okay. Crazy is good) She has no doubt slowly shaped me into the person I am today. (and I’d say I’m a pretty darn good kid) She has taught me right from wrong, how to be strong when you have no other choice and how to brush off the hurtful things that people say. She is by far thee most amazing, strong, and truly beautiful person I know. I want to be just like her when I grow up. (even if she is a little crazy)

Love, T.<3