Sunday, September 11, 2011

Beware...this post has Sharp Edges

After some thought...I think maybe my Aunt Kassy and the Onion could be right...sometimes you need to blog it ....and move on...

I feel like I have been dealing with a lot of stupid lately.

Or maybe it is just lack of values.

Or perhaps underdeveloped emotional intelligence.

I have been trying to think of ways to say "you are stupid" ...without being downright rude.  I'm not a huge fan of wading around the subject.  I like to say it and move on which tends to make me sound ruthless and mean...but I'm not...I'm actually very nice and in the right setting I feel as though I can actually take on others emotions because I am compassionate and very sensitive...although I don't think just saying "Your face is oozing stupid" would probably be the best choice.

I have been through some management training that could be helpful I suppose...if you are a fan of condescending patronizing conversations.  Which I am not....don't tell my kids but I have actually used these skills on occasion to get them to do what I want..all while thinking it was their idea...i know...brilliant...

So I'm stuck thinking of ways to say your stupid without being here I go....

"Although I'm sure your having a blast with your girlfriend...that doesn't exactly fall in line with your marriage vows."

"I know having pet names for each other in public at 17 makes YOU feel warm and fuzzy...but he is just doing it so you will continue to drive him to court and continue to put out...yes...yes you are so very special to him and deserve nothing more."

"Oh yes I'm thrilled that you are dating your best friends ex-wife!"

"Stomping around and giving everyone the silent treatment because you think you have to work harder than everyone just down right adorable."

"Screaming and yelling at me because I expect you to NOT think it is funny that you have slimed food all over the microwave after 15 hours of cleaning and remodeling....shows how much you care...Thank you."

"Yes hillbilly neighbor...I love the hoarding episode going on in your yard!  Oh and thank your son for me...he taught my 12 year old what 'giving head' means."

"Oh Dear...all teenage girls having sex...please just wash your filthy vagina's"


How'd I do?

Saturday, September 10, 2011

It will all be worth It

For those of you wondering what the hell happened to me...I am still alive...just busy...and tired...

Actually the truth is the dirt pusher and I are really crazy...and I'm the only one on medication for it.  Trust me I've tried to slip a little in his drink occasionally...but he is actually a lot smarter than you would think.

We are going to combine our families under one roof at the end of the month.  It's very scary.  I don't think any of us are under the illusion that it will be easy, although I hope we can love each other enough to work through the snags....mostlyI hope everyone knows that I'm always right...this tends to make things much easier for everyone:)  I have already had a couple of throw downs with his girls and I don't like that but I'm hoping that they know I love them and I hope they will be few and far between.  I mean after all...I feel like they are my kids too...and can't help but treat them like they are.  While I'm busy being hated...the Dirt Pusher is worshipped..I think in Trudy's words that I happened to read on Twitter read something like this "I love my step dad...he always has my back...blah blah blah"...*barfing*

We have been busting our behinds for over a year to get his house ready to accommodate 6 of us....what I really mean is clean the damn place up...  It seems that living without a woman in the house for several years....that things can get a little out of hand...not in their opinion of course.. just my opinion.  My OCD opinion.  I can't help it...many of you know I come from a long line of OCD clean freaks.

We only have two small rooms left to paint and finishing trim work in a couple of rooms to do and the whole place will have new flooring, trim work and paint...head to toe and I'm really proud of all of the work we have done together and the work that the Dirt Pusher has done alone to make this happen...have I mentioned that the garage has been cleaned three times and about 10 pick up loads have been taken to the dump?  

Two weeks ago I re-did what will be Rowdy's room in a NY Jets he is pretty psyched..and I tackled the main bathroom that same weekend.  I was texting the Dirt Pusher while I was doing it...I was gritting my teeth telling him how much he was going to pay he was busy pushing dirt on his ass.  I hauled 6 large bags of garbage from this bathroom...and you can imagine the cleaning that had to be done before I could start painting.  

Last weekend we embarked on the biggest task in the house.  The kitchen.  We worked for three straight days...12-15 hour days to get it done.  I'm kicking myself for not getting a before and after picture...but we were tore in and working away before I remembered..actually I wish we had before and after pics of the whole house...oh well....but here is the after kitchen pic....

The kitchen cabinets.. we refurbished....they started out dark walnut with a few layers of grease and grime....and now...Waaalaaaa....I would give all the other amazing cleaning details...but I know not everyone is as fascinated with cleaning and the amazing things I can do with 409 and a good scrub brush...and how I have taught the Dirt Pusher that toothbrushes are good for other things other than cleaning teeth.  Plus I have been told that I have been using the word 'disgusting' wayyyyy to much.  So I'm not going to say it anymore.  Just trust me...the place was disgusting...

In between working on the house.....we have been traveling with the kids sports.  Trudy is still playing softball...Rowdy started football...and MiMi and Livy had Team Wyoming try-outs and are gearing up for hockey to start...not to mention a demanding job.

Have I mentioned I'm tired?

Who Let the Dogs out....Whooof!

yeah...we had a WILD weekend!

Me and the dirtpusher are CRAZY wild.

No...not as in crazy.."Rosa, did you take your meds?" crazy.  Although I really think that everyone that benefits from my medication should have to pay for it...really if everyone pitches would cost very little....

A few weekends ago...OK many weekends ago...but I haven't had time to finish this I'm doing it now... the dirt pusher and I  had a CRAZY wild weekend. 

We went out and had FUN two nights in a row! 

I know!  I was like "hey honey ....look at us...all out and crazy *dancing a little* and yeah trailing off...i only had less than one beer the first night out and the second a half of a Mikes Hard Lemonade but whatever....

Night One:  1/2 a beer with friends from high friend..BeCorb..hardly remembers me but won't admit it....and I've promised not to be bitter...pfffttt.....and all the others I get to see a lot and still adore them dearly...and they all like me...and remember me.  It was fun...I thought to myself...we should get out more...we should do this ALL the time! 

It was so exciting talking to other adults together and not having children dominate the conversation with how we are unfair and treat some of the kids better than the others...about the 80 dollar jeans they think they need for school...the tattoo's they are going to get when they turn 18.. and the many ways we are failing as parents...and the many things they want for Christmas its fucking July..ok August...but still.... shit it's actually September... 

I was a little put out though...I didn't figure the dirt pusher and the one who can not remember me otherwise known as BeCorb...would get along so well...oh him and dirt man...oh yeah they just laughed it my expense bastards.......the dirtpusher is normally picked on mercilessly by me and our teenage girls and he enjoyed having someone on his team...yeah that's right..Dirtman as BeCorb calls him..yeah...they are on the same team *snicker*. 

Night Two: Joe Nichols concert...hollly hotttttneesss batman...omg...I'm still breaking out in sweats just thinking about him....and I don't even feel guilty...I figure this is payback to the dirtpusher for picking on me with BeCorb... 

I swear I'm not making this up in my head...but..I'm pretty sure that every popular singer and their entire band I have ever seen live...sings right to me!  I can tell they are just looking at me...longing for me...thinking...oh my look at that girl...she is one hot number...shut up its my story

And now I'm fantasizing about  pretty much every country singing star...and have actually googled several and have been cussing their beautiful wives....

I really need to get back on the WWW123 diet plan if I'm gonna make potential superstar wife material.