Sunday, October 16, 2011

Cohabitation


I am learning to cohabitate...at moments I think I may be in-cohabitable.  I'm very set in my ways and have only lived with my kids for several years...and they know my weirdness. 
 
One thing I will say is that moving sucks.  I'm torn when it comes to change in general.  I like it...but I don't like it i know that totally makes sense.  I will also admit that I have way too many clothes and think that we may need to add another closet so that I don't have any more temper tantrums while trying to find what I'm looking for in the 10x2 closet my shit is stuffed into at 6am..I am very hostile at this time of the day.

I typically throw a lot of food away when it is just me and my kids...in order to have a variety of things in the house to eat..alot goes to waste...that is NO LONGER a problem.  A family of 6 eats ALOT of food...and three teenage girls can seriously move some food....one in particular...you have to hide food if you want something for later....cuz it will be gone if you wait more than a few hours.  I am not over exaggerating.

I also now know that teenagers will on certain days decide they don't like you...and will run away...but not too far and will be back within hours....having no phone no car no food apparently isn't too appealing.  This only happens on days when you are not hanging on their every word and expect them to follow simple rules and aren't keeping busy doing what they want ...when they want.  The run away was only gone a few short hours but it saved us quite a bit in food.

I have learned a very manipulative useful behavior to get the dirt pusher to do what I want.  Regardless of whether the task at hand requires tools or not...I use them...or pretend to use them.  Getting out the dirtpushers tools and banging them around in a way that makes it look like I have no clue what I'm doing gets his attention very fast.  If he offers to help...I like to say "oh no..I got this...I'm just not sure we need all of these tools...I think I'm going to have a garage sale..I could make a killing!"...Before you know it...he is knee deep in my project and I'm free to do important things like...blog or facebook stalk your friends.

Another lesson learned is that when I tell Trudy she can wait till Christmas for a new hair straightener...she will take the opportunity to ask the dirtpusher when I'm not around because he never tells her no.  Kids learn how to wrap sweet guys like him around their fingers very quickly.  She has an undying love for the guy...gee I wonder why...

I am proud to say I have taught the dirtpusher a thing or two also.  He has learned to pray for fast REM sleep before I can tuck myself into bed...cuz apparently I snore....only on occassion...but when I do apparently I can saw some shit out of some logs...who knew!?  I have also taught him not to talk to me...touch me...or LOOK at me in the morning when I'm doing the one leg hop with my underwear on inside out trying to make it out the door in time for work.  I don't like my morning routine to be messed with...especially with conversation.