Giant Angel Wings

The weather is perking up here in Podunk, USA.

I think spring may finally be here.  The changing of the seasons is always an exciting change.

Rowdy had his first baseball game of the season tonight.  They played well and had to end the game early, which I thought was great.  They had to call the game after the 4th inning due to the mercy rule.  I am always happy for a win but I was mostly glad they whipped butt fast because I was freezing my buuhind off on the ice cold bleachers.  I said it was warming up...that means no blowing snow in this neck of the woods...but still cold nonetheless.

I dropped him off an hour early for warm-ups.  This is always the perfect time for me to get my 2 mile walk in unless I can think of some great excuse not to do it, which I couldn't tonight.

As I walked the paved walkway tonight around the lake I thought about my friend G.  About a year ago as I was walking this same path, I was aware there was a man not too far behind me and didn't realize it was this gentle giant that I adored.  I had stopped to adjust my jacket around my waist, IPOD, phone, keys etc when he came up on me.  I turned around quickly when I felt someone behind me and startled a bit as I stared up at the giant... until I realized it was G.  I instantly laughed and said hello...and told him he shouldn't be sneaking up on jumpy ladies with kungfu skills like myself.  He smiled gently..reminded me that I can only kungfu in a perfect situation and after a short conversation he headed on while I was still readjusting all of the items I thought I needed to carry with me.  I could tell there was something different but I didn't know what it was.

A few days later I learned that he had cancer once again.  I'm sure that this was what was weighing on his mind that evening.  This would be his third battle with this disgusting disease.

I remember when I was new to what is now my day job.  I was new to the industry and had heard about G.  He was one of the 'big guys' in charge for one of our clients... a client that I managed.  I was scared out of my mind when I got a voice mail from him.  HE WANTED ME TO CALL HIM BACK!  I thought about how scary he would be and how I would pretend to know what I was talking about...and that he would figure out I was full of crap.  I returned his phone call anyway.  I'm glad I did. 

He soon became my friend.  He was one of the most gracious people I have ever met.  He was funny, smart, an amazing teacher and he had this way of taking care of hearts while taking care of business.  I think it is funny now that I was so intimidated by even taking a call from this gentle man that conducted himself with so much grace.  He even humored me by pretending that we could start a Motorcycle Club together...even though none of us have motorcycles.  We finally decided a Middle-Aged Moped Club would be more appropriate and he didn't even wince when I told him our leather jackets would be pink and be bedazzled and that I would be the President of the club.  He even liked me after I threw wine on him and his little miss one night while we were out.  Yes I threw the damned wine right out of the glass...no I was not drunk...and no it was not on purpose...I'm just able to humiliate myself in public in ways that others can not.  He quickly got up to get a wash rag to clean the blessed mess I had made...but he was still my friend....a friend that would never let me live it down..but a friend.

After fighting a good battle for the last year with a 'can do' attitude and offering comfort to the others around him rather than expecting them to comfort him, he was told by the doctors that it would be recommended that he be cared for by Hospice and that he would only have a couple months to live. 

I bought a card at Hallmark when his wife told me this news, I have also become very fond of G's little miss I might add.  I think I was there for an hour looking for just the right card and was still not happy with the choice I made but figured it was no big deal because I had all of the things I wanted to say in my head and would write them very neatly (without spelling errors) inside.  The card has sat on my desk for 3 weeks.  I started a couple of times to write in it....but was afraid I would leave something important out.  I felt like this was it.  If your gonna say it...this was the time to say it.

G passed away this week.  He was ready to meet the Lord and I am thankful for that.  I don't regret not sending the card.  There had been a few times on the phone that I could make him laugh...and told him how I wanted to be just like him when I grew up.  He would chuckle and say "Oh...I wish I was the man you think I am"  He was always so humble.

I think I will keep this card on my desk just the way it is.  It will serve as a reminder...a reminder of the type of person that I hope I can be someday.