Husband One, Two ..or was it Three?

I start my day's with a smile on my face because I have this friend..she likes to be called Elizabeth Taylor...

She does have some Elizabeth Taylor traits...they both have had a lot of husbands...but at first glance she reminds me more of the girl next door....but don't let looks fool you...she is a wild one...and she is so damn nice.  I get to see her every morning and she brews up my favorite Skinny Hazelnut Latte just the way I like it.  I look forward to our morning chats as we catch bitch up on kids, jobs, boyfriends, ex boyfriends, soon to be ex boyfriends, blind dates, my parents.. always a good source of smirks and laughs...and well.....husbands.  I have to admit Lizzy is a bit ahead of me in the game of ex-husbands and I'm kind of jealous.  Right now I can only claim one douche bag.  Lizzy is a hopeless romantic...I love this about her... 

This morning as I was waiting for my 'mojo' in a cup she talked about an up coming trip out of the country and told me she finally and applied for her passport.  Of course..in true Lizzy fashion she has waited until the last minute and now has to expedite the passport process...pfffft.....

She says to me...with big wide eyes as she leans over towards me with her baby hairs falling out of her ponytail like they normally do...whispering...with a small giggle of surprise... "You know the part of the application you have to list all of your marriages?"  I sort of nodded..trying to remember..only having one to list...so I don't think it quite stood out to me... but I nodded and said "Yeah"...even though I didn't remember.  And she says to me..."Guess how many pages I needed?"  This is were I snorted I have been snorting a lot lately and spit on myself...and said "How many?"...and she looked around and looked back at me and whispered "Two...and I couldn't tell the lady that the guy I'm married to now...I'm divorcing..that would have required a third page"...

I couldn't stop laughing as I was dropping the blueberries she had just handed me....she is a good sharer.. and she knows I eat fruit for breakfast even though I would much prefer one of her exceptionally delicious carmel rolls...sitting beautifully on the counter right in FRONT of my face....I hate that skinny bitch.  Anyway...she said "You wanna know the funny part?"  She is still whispering and leaning over and looking around to make sure no one is listening...this is were I'm thinking...this shit gets funnier?  She says "I can't remember all of their birthdays...and they wanted to know the dates of the divorces...and I had to guess."

We are both crossing our fingers that this doesn't slow down the expedition of the passport process.  Although I think she is pretty damn special...I told her I didn't think that the govt would think that her quest for Mr. Perfect and the fact that she is a hopeless romantic would be the craziest thing they have ever seen on a passport application.

Here's to love...and Mr. Wonderful...where are you husband #10...the bitch can cook and make a good latte....I'm thinking about marrying her myself.