Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Weiners & Nuts

Well the dirt pusher found the blog.  Even with his non-existent capacity for technology...apparently anybody can use the internet these days.    I honestly didn't think he could even find the power button on the computer SHIT.

He says to me "I read your blog last night."
I look at him sweetly as if I appreciate his interest...and say "oh really?...which post do you read."..my voice was about an octive higher than normal here...as I was trying to cover up the cussing under my breathe.  This isn't good..not good at all...

He says "The one about called Helllllooo Can You Hear Me.  He isn't looking amused as he said this...he had an eye brow up and had his head tilted to the side...I'm not familiar with this look...it's a new one...I'm starting to sweat under one armpit...yes just one...for some reason when I'm nervous I sweat under the right one..but not the left one...don't judge me...I can't control it....I asked how many he had read.  He said that he had read a few....really?... shit!

So I will need to lay off the dirt pusher for a while.  Don't worry though...he will forget about the blog....I just have to give it a couple weeks...then I can go back to telling you about how he looks like Elmer Fudd when he drives, thinks duct tape is adequate to repair crashed car bumpers...wore knee socks with his shorts and tennis shoes on our first date...i know adorable...

I can however talk about Representative Anthony Weiner...how fitting is it that a guy with the last name Weiner sends 'lewd' pictures of himself to women through the modern technology of Twitter and Facebook....as if this is shocking?  If my last name was Weiner I would send 'lewd' pictures of myself to people too...heck I would have mass distributions...I love to say lewd...llllleeeeewwwddddd...I'm saying it right now.....  What is even more hilarious is that Bill Clinton officiated his wedding....I can't even say that out loud with out spitting on myself and snorting...

All this talk about Weiner makes me think about how much I love nuts. 

No really I love nuts.

Any kind of nut....almond, walnut, pistachio, peanut...you name it...I like it...not like it...I love it...and sunflower seeds....which is like a nut....

I'm thinking of taking 'lewd' pictures of me with my nuts.

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