Radiology: She is a Weeper

I think I have made myself a reputation in the Radiology department in our local hospital...I'm the mom with sad tears that stream down her face looking helpless.

But life can change pretty fast....I've seen it.

One moment you are moving along and the next things fall apart...and you are stammering because you don't know what hit you.

I have been in this situation a few times..you know...when it feels like the world is crushing in around you....

My life crushing events have come in the form of sudden deaths of grandparents and friends and health issues of the people I love and at the hands of the man I married at a young age.  I feel lucky for all of these moments even if they didn't feel too good at the the time because they helped create the person I am today.

In the last few weeks I have had subtle reminders of how fragile life really is. 

A couple of weeks ago Trudy went in for a scheduled sports physical for the upcoming sports season and the doctor heard some abnormalities in her heart rhythms...the doctor quickly scheduled an echocardiogram.  I will never forget the day.  She layed on the table with the doctor probing roughly at her chest with an ultrasound machine....it felt like we were there for hours and hours... and at that moment my strong athletic vibrant child was vulnerable..or maybe she wasn't.  Maybe I was.  The room was dark so they could read the monitors and I very quietly wept thinking through all the 'what if's'.  I hadn't really taken it too seriously till this moment..  The results were 3 valves that back flow a little....nothing serious.  I watched her on the table...she is almost grown into a woman..it is still amazing to me...that I made that....that amazing human being...and how lucky I am.

I thought my stint of bawling like a baby in Radiology would be forgotten by the time I needed to return another day...for whatever life may bring.

I'm going to get a few pairs of these...

Yeah...not so.  I was back with Rowdy after what was supposed to be a routine in and out surgery for tonsil removal.  I was holding up pretty good not freaking out like I normally do in the surgery center for several hours after Rowdy's oxygen levels were very low with out constant oxygen tubes fed up his nose.  That was until I could tell the staff was looking very concerned.  After several hours, many nurses and two doctors nobody heard anything abnormal in is lungs...Dr. Foreman came in and heard the wheezing.  Folks...this is not a good time to find out your kid probably has asthma.  He was pretty sure that Bronchitis had set in and needed to make sure it wasn't Pneumonia.  Back to Radiology.  I had to drag this kid from the surgery center with oxygen tanks in tow.   We were headed down the hallway of the hospital and as soon as I saw the lady who works the desk there (I know her thank GOD!)..I cried.  Damnit..and I had held it together so damn well all day long too.  Not to worry about Rowdy though..he was a charmer all day long and as usual.. tough as nails.  He had the nursing staff in his palm.  He told his nurse several times very genuinely "You have done a really good job today".  The X-Rays showed that there was not fluid in his lungs or anything too alarming.  He has been home on oxygen all weekend and hopefully tomorrow his oxygen levels will be back to normal and we can figure out this asthma issue...he says before football starts..we will see.