Sunday, January 6, 2013

In the nature of being helpful to the general public, I tend to be a bit of a philanthropist at heart, I have also been working up a few New Year's Resolutions for the rest of you.  You ARE welcome.  Here are a few things I would like you to do this year.

Ladies, stop talking about 'Fifty Shades of Gray'.  It makes you look desperate for a decent sex life and after the initial sock of the idea of being a submissive it is boring.  Same thing over and over and ooooover.  Handcuffs, tied up, beating, handcuffs, tied up get the idea.  You do not need a man controlling you.  If you want to read a good book I would recommend "Shitty Mom" or "Let's Pretend This Never Happened".  Two of my favorite subjects.

Smile at everyone you talk to.

Not everything needs to be politically charged or marching for the feminism movement.  Chill.


Gals, stop wearing leggings as pants. No one wants to see your arrsss in leggings.  I don't care if you are a size 2 or a size 24, they are not pants.  It is awkward for everyone.  Cover it up.

Everyone, please I have cried enough tears about it.  Do NOT ask me where Trudy is going to college until I am loading the car and driving her to the location of choice next August.  I will answer "RazorCity Community College" even though that is lie I lie a lot.  She is not going to the local community college, she needs to leave and spread her wings.  But that doesn't mean I have to like it and I don't want to talk about it and it sucks and if you ask, I reserve the right to sob out of control on the spot.  And you will have only yourself to blame.

Don't make me go all ugly cry on you.
Stop acting like a bi-polar manic depressant on social sites.  No one can keep up with whether you are happy or sad.  Good Lord.

Stand up to Bullies
Don't be a bully and stand up to bullies.

We all know you probably have a great exercise regimen planned for the new year, but we don't care, so stop talking about it.  

Be Gracious and Grateful.

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