Cohabitation

I am learning to cohabitate...at moments I think I may be in-cohabitable.  I'm very set in my ways and have only lived with my kids for several years...and they know my weirdness. 
 
One thing I will say is that moving sucks.  I'm torn when it comes to change in general.  I like it...but I don't like it i know that totally makes sense.  I will also admit that I have way too many clothes and think that we may need to add another closet so that I don't have any more temper tantrums while trying to find what I'm looking for in the 10x2 closet my shit is stuffed into at 6am..I am very hostile at this time of the day.

I typically throw a lot of food away when it is just me and my kids...in order to have a variety of things in the house to eat..alot goes to waste...that is NO LONGER a problem.  A family of 6 eats ALOT of food...and three teenage girls can seriously move some food....one in particular...you have to hide food if you want something for later....cuz it will be gone if you wait more than a few hours.  I am not over exaggerating.

I also now know that teenagers will on certain days decide they don't like you...and will run away...but not too far and will be back within hours....having no phone no car no food apparently isn't too appealing.  This only happens on days when you are not hanging on their every word and expect them to follow simple rules and aren't keeping busy doing what they want ...when they want.  The run away was only gone a few short hours but it saved us quite a bit in food.

I have learned a very manipulative useful behavior to get the dirt pusher to do what I want.  Regardless of whether the task at hand requires tools or not...I use them...or pretend to use them.  Getting out the dirtpushers tools and banging them around in a way that makes it look like I have no clue what I'm doing gets his attention very fast.  If he offers to help...I like to say "oh no..I got this...I'm just not sure we need all of these tools...I think I'm going to have a garage sale..I could make a killing!"...Before you know it...he is knee deep in my project and I'm free to do important things like...blog or facebook stalk your friends.

Another lesson learned is that when I tell Trudy she can wait till Christmas for a new hair straightener...she will take the opportunity to ask the dirtpusher when I'm not around because he never tells her no.  Kids learn how to wrap sweet guys like him around their fingers very quickly.  She has an undying love for the guy...gee I wonder why...

I am proud to say I have taught the dirtpusher a thing or two also.  He has learned to pray for fast REM sleep before I can tuck myself into bed...cuz apparently I snore....only on occassion...but when I do apparently I can saw some shit out of some logs...who knew!?  I have also taught him not to talk to me...touch me...or LOOK at me in the morning when I'm doing the one leg hop with my underwear on inside out trying to make it out the door in time for work.  I don't like my morning routine to be messed with...especially with conversation.

Beware...this post has Sharp Edges

After some thought...I think maybe my Aunt Kassy and the Onion could be right...sometimes you need to blog it ....and move on...

I feel like I have been dealing with a lot of stupid lately.

Or maybe it is just lack of values.

Or perhaps underdeveloped emotional intelligence.

I have been trying to think of ways to say "you are stupid" ...without being downright rude.  I'm not a huge fan of wading around the subject.  I like to say it and move on which tends to make me sound ruthless and mean...but I'm not...I'm actually very nice and in the right setting I feel as though I can actually take on others emotions because I am compassionate and very sensitive...although I don't think just saying "Your face is oozing stupid" would probably be the best choice.

I have been through some management training that could be helpful I suppose...if you are a fan of condescending patronizing conversations.  Which I am not....don't tell my kids but I have actually used these skills on occasion to get them to do what I want..all while thinking it was their idea...i know...brilliant...

So I'm stuck thinking of ways to say your stupid without being offensive...so here I go....

"Although I'm sure your having a blast with your girlfriend...that doesn't exactly fall in line with your marriage vows."

"I know having pet names for each other in public at 17 makes YOU feel warm and fuzzy...but he is just doing it so you will continue to drive him to court and continue to put out...yes...yes you are so very special to him and deserve nothing more."

"Oh yes I'm thrilled that you are dating your best friends ex-wife!"

"Stomping around and giving everyone the silent treatment because you think you have to work harder than everyone else...is just down right adorable."

"Screaming and yelling at me because I expect you to NOT think it is funny that you have slimed food all over the microwave after 15 hours of cleaning and remodeling....shows how much you care...Thank you."

"Yes hillbilly neighbor...I love the hoarding episode going on in your yard!  Oh and thank your son for me...he taught my 12 year old what 'giving head' means."

"Oh Dear...all teenage girls having sex...please just wash your filthy vagina's"

                                            

How'd I do?

It will all be worth It

For those of you wondering what the hell happened to me...I am still alive...just busy...and tired...

Actually the truth is the dirt pusher and I are really crazy...and I'm the only one on medication for it.  Trust me I've tried to slip a little in his drink occasionally...but he is actually a lot smarter than you would think.

We are going to combine our families under one roof at the end of the month.  It's very scary.  I don't think any of us are under the illusion that it will be easy, although I hope we can love each other enough to work through the snags....mostlyI hope everyone knows that I'm always right...this tends to make things much easier for everyone:)  I have already had a couple of throw downs with his girls and I don't like that but I'm hoping that they know I love them and I hope they will be few and far between.  I mean after all...I feel like they are my kids too...and can't help but treat them like they are.  While I'm busy being hated...the Dirt Pusher is worshipped..I think in Trudy's words that I happened to read on Twitter read something like this "I love my step dad...he always has my back...blah blah blah"...*barfing*

We have been busting our behinds for over a year to get his house ready to accommodate 6 of us....what I really mean is clean the damn place up...  It seems that living without a woman in the house for several years....that things can get a little out of hand...not in their opinion of course.. just my opinion.  My OCD opinion.  I can't help it...many of you know I come from a long line of OCD clean freaks.

We only have two small rooms left to paint and finishing trim work in a couple of rooms to do and the whole place will have new flooring, trim work and paint...head to toe and I'm really proud of all of the work we have done together and the work that the Dirt Pusher has done alone to make this happen...have I mentioned that the garage has been cleaned three times and about 10 pick up loads have been taken to the dump?  

Two weeks ago I re-did what will be Rowdy's room in a NY Jets theme...so he is pretty psyched..and I tackled the main bathroom that same weekend.  I was texting the Dirt Pusher while I was doing it...I was gritting my teeth telling him how much he was going to pay he was busy pushing dirt on his ass.  I hauled 6 large bags of garbage from this bathroom...and you can imagine the cleaning that had to be done before I could start painting.  

Last weekend we embarked on the biggest task in the house.  The kitchen.  We worked for three straight days...12-15 hour days to get it done.  I'm kicking myself for not getting a before and after picture...but we were tore in and working away before I remembered..actually I wish we had before and after pics of the whole house...oh well....but here is the after kitchen pic....

The kitchen cabinets.. we refurbished....they started out dark walnut with a few layers of grease and grime....and now...Waaalaaaa....I would give all the other amazing cleaning details...but I know not everyone is as fascinated with cleaning and the amazing things I can do with 409 and a good scrub brush...and how I have taught the Dirt Pusher that toothbrushes are good for other things other than cleaning teeth.  Plus I have been told that I have been using the word 'disgusting' wayyyyy to much.  So I'm not going to say it anymore.  Just trust me...the place was disgusting...

In between working on the house.....we have been traveling with the kids sports.  Trudy is still playing softball...Rowdy started football...and MiMi and Livy had Team Wyoming try-outs and are gearing up for hockey to start...not to mention a demanding job.

Have I mentioned I'm tired?

Who Let the Dogs out....Whooof!

yeah...we had a WILD weekend!

Me and the dirtpusher are CRAZY wild.

No...not as in crazy.."Rosa, did you take your meds?" crazy.  Although I really think that everyone that benefits from my medication should have to pay for it...really if everyone pitches in...it would cost very little....

A few weekends ago...OK many weekends ago...but I haven't had time to finish this post...so I'm doing it now... the dirt pusher and I  had a CRAZY wild weekend. 

We went out and had FUN two nights in a row! 

I know!  I was like "hey honey ....look at us...all out and crazy *dancing a little* and yeah trailing off...i only had less than one beer the first night out and the second a half of a Mikes Hard Lemonade but whatever....

Night One:  1/2 a beer with friends from high school...one friend..BeCorb..hardly remembers me but won't admit it....and I've promised not to be bitter...pfffttt.....and all the others I get to see a lot and still adore them dearly...and they all like me...and remember me.  It was fun...I thought to myself...we should get out more...we should do this ALL the time! 

It was so exciting talking to other adults together and not having children dominate the conversation with how we are unfair and treat some of the kids better than the others...about the 80 dollar jeans they think they need for school...the tattoo's they are going to get when they turn 18.. and the many ways we are failing as parents...and the many things they want for Christmas its fucking July..ok August...but still.... shit it's actually September... 

I was a little put out though...I didn't figure the dirt pusher and the one who can not remember me otherwise known as BeCorb...would get along so well...oh him and dirt man...oh yeah they just laughed it up...at my expense bastards.......the dirtpusher is normally picked on mercilessly by me and our teenage girls and he enjoyed having someone on his team...yeah that's right..Dirtman as BeCorb calls him..yeah...they are on the same team *snicker*. 

Night Two: Joe Nichols concert...hollly hotttttneesss batman...omg...I'm still breaking out in sweats just thinking about him....and I don't even feel guilty...I figure this is payback to the dirtpusher for picking on me with BeCorb... 

I swear I'm not making this up in my head...but..I'm pretty sure that every popular singer and their entire band I have ever seen live...sings right to me!  I can tell they are just looking at me...longing for me...thinking...oh my look at that girl...she is one hot number...shut up its my story

And now I'm fantasizing about  pretty much every country singing star...and have actually googled several and have been cussing their beautiful wives....

I really need to get back on the WWW123 diet plan if I'm gonna make potential superstar wife material.

My momma used to WHIP our asses...

Do you remember not too long ago...

I almost got my arsss kicked?...if not..looky here....She says I'm a piece of shit....

Well luckily I escaped a good whippin.  Trust me...I don't think the woman that had the voice of Lucifer and the snarl to match...uses a flyswatter like my momma..my momma is a lady (I use the term lady...very very loosely) that is 4'10" on a tall day and used to run around in circles trying to catch us whipping that thing around....

when she caught us...this is what it looked like...*smirk*

No..this woman is nothing like my momma.... I'm sure she would have knocked my ass out with her manly fist....BAM...I would have been down for the count....

Anyway...that's not the point...I had a comment on this particular blog that said "You are a bitch Tracey".

I'm happy that someone actually commented on a post.  I was pretty sure the commenter was my friend BeCorb but he insists that he just calls me a bitch to my face and would never do it Anonymously.   

I can't even get my own family to comment on my posts.  People...I'm writing here...Can I get a little feedback.  There is somebody out there that obviously doesn't even like me and can take the time to leave a comment..even if it is Anonymous...

Radiology: She is a Weeper

I think I have made myself a reputation in the Radiology department in our local hospital...I'm the mom with sad tears that stream down her face looking helpless.

But life can change pretty fast....I've seen it.

One moment you are moving along and the next things fall apart...and you are stammering because you don't know what hit you.

I have been in this situation a few times..you know...when it feels like the world is crushing in around you....

My life crushing events have come in the form of sudden deaths of grandparents and friends and health issues of the people I love and at the hands of the man I married at a young age.  I feel lucky for all of these moments even if they didn't feel too good at the the time because they helped create the person I am today.

In the last few weeks I have had subtle reminders of how fragile life really is. 

A couple of weeks ago Trudy went in for a scheduled sports physical for the upcoming sports season and the doctor heard some abnormalities in her heart rhythms...the doctor quickly scheduled an echocardiogram.  I will never forget the day.  She layed on the table with the doctor probing roughly at her chest with an ultrasound machine....it felt like we were there for hours and hours... and at that moment my strong athletic vibrant child was vulnerable..or maybe she wasn't.  Maybe I was.  The room was dark so they could read the monitors and I very quietly wept thinking through all the 'what if's'.  I hadn't really taken it too seriously till this moment..  The results were 3 valves that back flow a little....nothing serious.  I watched her on the table...she is almost grown into a woman..it is still amazing to me...that I made that....that amazing human being...and how lucky I am.

I thought my stint of bawling like a baby in Radiology would be forgotten by the time I needed to return another day...for whatever life may bring.

I'm going to get a few pairs of these...

Yeah...not so.  I was back with Rowdy after what was supposed to be a routine in and out surgery for tonsil removal.  I was holding up pretty good not freaking out like I normally do in the surgery center for several hours after Rowdy's oxygen levels were very low with out constant oxygen tubes fed up his nose.  That was until I could tell the staff was looking very concerned.  After several hours, many nurses and two doctors nobody heard anything abnormal in is lungs...Dr. Foreman came in and heard the wheezing.  Folks...this is not a good time to find out your kid probably has asthma.  He was pretty sure that Bronchitis had set in and needed to make sure it wasn't Pneumonia.  Back to Radiology.  I had to drag this kid from the surgery center with oxygen tanks in tow.   We were headed down the hallway of the hospital and as soon as I saw the lady who works the desk there (I know her thank GOD!)..I cried.  Damnit..and I had held it together so damn well all day long too.  Not to worry about Rowdy though..he was a charmer all day long and as usual.. tough as nails.  He had the nursing staff in his palm.  He told his nurse several times very genuinely "You have done a really good job today".  The X-Rays showed that there was not fluid in his lungs or anything too alarming.  He has been home on oxygen all weekend and hopefully tomorrow his oxygen levels will be back to normal and we can figure out this asthma issue...he says before football starts..we will see. 

Diamonds Are a Girls Best Friend

Diamonds...Are a Girls Best Friend...sort of...

I lost THE diamond in the damn ring.

The diamond in my engagement ring. I thought I had a heart attack for a second...but don't worry..I seem to be fine....plus being gone from work right now is not an option...even for death. 

It's funny though...one thing I learned is that when you tell someone you lost the diamond in your ring...they all look down immediately..scanning the floor...as if they are going to find it...and as if you haven't already looked for chrimeny's sake I'm not sure who chrimeny is...but my mom says that all the time so I figure who ever it is...they must be important. 

I'm not going to lie...I was a little annoyed but wasn't really all that upset. I figured the jewelry company would handle it...I'm sure these things happen all the time...and really in the grand scheme of life...what did it change? Nothing...I didn't have a diamond...that's it. The dirt pusher still loves me...I love him.....our kids are still annoyingly needy..we have a Yukon that always needs worked on...our kids break the bank with all of their expensive sport travels...and the house still needs tons of work done on it...and we are healthy..have good jobs...food on the table...who needs diamonds...when you got love...right?....*smirk* I'm totally gonna see if they will put a bigger diamond in...

I called him at work to find out if he had insurance on it or whatever. He gave me directions to the well hid insurance papers etc. and I took it all to the jeweler...and as I figured they are going to make it right. After I left the jewelry store I texted the man that pushes dirt..and told him what was up...and that I was going to wear the wedding band for now...his response was "Good idea...I don't want someone snagging you." 

For a second I smirked at the thought that he thinks that men are just waiting for him to look away...to sweep me off of my feet far far from him..that they stand in the sidelines just waiting to make their move...and I thought to myself "you know what...I'm gonna let him think that".  

The truth of the matter is that if someone stole me ...they would bring me back very quickly.

And as quickly as I thought I held the power in the relationship...he brought me back to reality...  he says "Yeah...No one else can handle you." ....owwwchhhh....whatever